


We Will Live Longer Than I Will

by CoinToYourWitcher



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ahch-To, All song fics all the time, Bendemption, F/M, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Hayden Christensen’s even teeth, Jedi Ben Solo, Men rescuing men, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Narrating the final scene, Ocean Sex, Probably better than the eventual book, Reylo - Freeform, Self-Sacrifice, Sort Of, Trying to rock climb with a boner, just kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22658650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoinToYourWitcher/pseuds/CoinToYourWitcher
Summary: (Like in TROS) Ben wakes up at the bottom of the dark pit, paralyzed. But someone comes to save him. The force ghost of his grandfather. The climb is grueling, but Anakin motivates him with visions of the future, the life after he dies, when he will awake on Ahch-to. All he has to do is make the ascent.Rather die in your arms than die lonesomeRather die hard than die hollowThe higher that I climbThe deeper I fall downI'm running out of timeSo let’s dance while we’re waitingWe will live longer than I willWe will be better than I wasLove Out of Lust - Lykke Li
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 51
Collections: House Dadam





	We Will Live Longer Than I Will

**Author's Note:**

> [The Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0MrLlPF5QxUvwB5nKTEnGe?si=f1AomtXKQeuZCpvXigALcQ)

[ ](https://ibb.co/s5TwVgF)

Ben opened his eyes to complete darkness, a sliver of light seemingly miles above. He couldn’t move his body.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” came a man’s voice. Familiar.

“I can’t feel-,” Ben said, struggling even to swallow.

“I’m working on it,” the man said, “You’re going to be fine.”

Ben felt a warmth coming back into his limbs, the feel of two hands on his torso. He tucked his chin to see who was helping him.

An apparition, a force ghost, glowing, ethereal. He was a young man, shoulder-length hair, like his, only brown. His tongue stuck out in concentration, his eyes closed, breathing peacefully, force-healing Ben’s broken body.

His paralysis gone, Ben could suddenly feel pain that had been numbed by the disconnect of his spine.

“Ow.”

The ghost chuckled, his work done.

“Who are you?” Ben asked, trying to roll over.

“I’m your grandfather,” said the young man, helping him to his feet.

“You’re not Darth Vader. You look like you’re 16,” Ben grumbled, looking up at the distance he had fallen.

“Ah!” the ghost corrected, “Anakin, and no, I was 45, but I was 22 when I went to the dark…I think.”

Ben dusted rocks out of his palms, looking his grandfather up and down.

“I need to get back. Up there,” Ben said, short of breath. One of his lungs was not cooperating. His side hurt, probably a rib poking it.

“I know. I’m here to get you there. All the others are up there with Rey,” he stated, putting his hand out for a handshake.

Ben looked at his hand, wondering if his hand would go straight through his, then shook it. It felt warm, tingly, but otherwise normal.

“Now, I can’t just float you up. And I can’t give you any more life force,” Anakin explained.

“Why not? There’s no time, she’s on her own up there!” Ben turned away and started climbing, he had so far to go. His shoulder was bleeding, his shirt torn there.

Anakin began climbing behind him. _I guess force ghosts have to climb too._

“Well, this is going to sound pretty bad, but when you get up there, you have to die. And if I give you any more juice, that’s not going to happen, in fact, I need you a liiiittle more drained by the time you get there, so the climb will take care of that,” Anakin stated, as if this were a natural thing to say to someone.

Ben paused and looked down at him. “I’m going to die? But you just saved me?”

“Yeah,” Anakin chuckled, his even teeth showing. “It’s hard to explain, but trust me, alright? You die today, but that’s not the end.”

Ben resumed climbing, slightly less horrified. “So force ghosts can see the future.”

“Oh sure, all the possibilities. But I’m getting you to the one I like the best. That’s why I never piped up til now. This version will get the best results,” Anakin said, proud of himself.

Ben felt light-headed, his lungs failing him. _He was never going to make it._ He felt himself slowly falling backward but Anakin’s pushed him roughly back to the wall.

“How about I give you a little motivation?” Anakin offered, annoyed.

**_Ben could feel Anakin’s hand still on his back. Ben was standing outside a rock hut. Anakin wasn’t behind him, but he could feel his hand pressing between his shoulder blades, pushing him forward.  
_**

**_He heard talking inside so he peeked through a window. Shocked, he saw himself, only feet away. He was unbruised, clean, healthy, smiling, looking out the window straight through him.  
_ **

**_Was this Future Ben?_ **

**_Two small, white arms slid around Future Ben’s chest from behind him, pulling his shirt up so it wasn’t tucked in anymore. Future Ben smiled bigger, rubbing one small hand contemplatively.  
_**

**_They were Rey’s arms. He recognized her hands. One slipped lower, going into Future Ben’s pants. Future Ben cocked an eyebrow and spun around._ **

Ben was back on the wall in the darkness, choking a little, the taste of blood in his throat.

He looked at Anakin, who was grinning ear to ear in an I-told-you-so kind of way.

“Where were we? And it’s very creepy to know you’ve seen that,” Ben said, climbing faster regardless.

“You were on Ahch-to, it’s a chain world with Exegol. When you die, you’ll appear there, Leia is waiting to make sure of it. And Rey figures it out. You know, eventually,” he said, matter-of-factly, “And I can’t help what I see when I pop in to check on you. Short of abstinence, I’m pretty sure there’s little way of avoiding it. Although, I don’t go into the hut, so you could just get some drapes,” he said, laughing.

His laugh was cut short as the pit lit up from above. Force lightning filled the sky, streaking into the atmosphere, illuminating a thousand ships.

“Can’t stop now,” Anakin said, pulling him by the arm, “Palpatine, that dick.”

“How do I defeat him?” Ben asked, watching in terror as the lightning buzzed and crackled above them.

“Oh, _you_ don’t. Rey does,” Anakin said, smiling at their little secret.

Ben thought on this a moment, pleased to know that Palpatine wasn’t long for this world and that Rey would be safe. Anakin sounded so sure of the outcome.

They climbed quickly, Anakin pushing and pulling him as he wheezed and struggled. He felt like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. He was pretty sure one of his lungs had collapsed. His arms were shaking at the feat of lifting his huge frame. But it was easier to climb when he could see what he was doing, thanks to the strobing light above them.

“Then how do I die?” Ben said, confused.

“Well, Rey dies-,” Anakin started. At the same time, the world became quiet. The force lightning had stopped. Ben lost his grip and fell, landing on an outcropping, feeling his left leg crumple beneath him.

Anakin jumped down to his rock, keeping him from sliding back to the pit floor.

“Wait, what? Fuck, my leg,” Ben said, pushing Anakin up against the wall, his glowing robes felt real enough in his hands. “Rey dies?”

“I told you, everything is going to be okay. I showed you the future-,” Anakin reminded him.

Ben was tired of this smug asshole, “What are you doing here with me, go help Rey!”

“I told you-,” Anakin started, then noticed Ben winding up to clock him in the teeth. He caught Ben’s fist in his palm.

**_Ben was out of the pit again, the sunlight temporarily blinding him. Anakin was nowhere to be seen, but Ben could feel that warm tingle around his fist still, Anakin’s hand over his, showing him a glimpse of the future again. His anger was gone, curiosity winning over as he stumbled full circle on his bad leg._ **

**_He spotted himself in the water, swimming, naked. Future Ben was also spinning in a circle, looking down at the water beneath him. Rey surfaced, behind a rock.  
_**

**_Future Ben couldn’t see her, but he could. She was wearing a thin, white shirt, soaked through. She peaked around the rock and Future Ben spotted her. He watched from the hill excitedly as Future Ben swam slowly over to her rock. He found her, pinning her to the rock, his head tilted to devour her._ **

**_Ben watched with jealousy, as if he was seeing someone else enjoying Rey’s kisses, palming her all over, lifting her legs. He could hear her little noises from here. Fuck, those noises. He couldn’t wait to hear them in his ear. How long did he have to wait for this day? It looked as if it could be him in a week, they were both still young, but Rey’s hair was longer, barely covering her-_ **

“I’ve got to stop you there, kid, no one wants to climb with a stiff one,” Anakin said, pushing him back to the wall.

If he’d had the energy, Ben would have flushed. He forgot _everything he saw his fucking grandfather was seeing as well._ He busied himself with climbing.

“Yes! There you go,” Anakin said, watching Ben climb, dragging his leg.

“I really hate you, you know,” Ben said, wishing he was alone.

Suddenly, the walls were shaking, rocks falling all around them. Anakin created a force barrier around Ben, allowing him to continue his crippled ascent, giant rocks and pieces of Sith statues breaking and bouncing off the shield.

_He could see the top. He was so close._

_Oh no._

_He felt Rey’s force signature disappear._

_She was gone._

If he had the lung capacity, he would have screamed her name. _But who would hear it?  
_

_Anakin was gone too._

His hand hit the surface.

He pulled himself up, but it was slow work. He looked around for her, _so hard to find her without her light._ He spotted a tiny figure on the ground where the Sith thrown had once stood, now a blast site.

He took two steps, the motions awkward after the climb, his leg and ribs pure agony. He fell once to his knees. He steeled himself and regained his footing. He approached her, painstakingly slow, falling at her feet in disbelief.

She was really dead. Her eyes open but unseeing.

His breathing became ragged, but no one was around to see him cry. He pulled her awkwardly into his lap, her beautiful face was expressionless, her body an empty shell. He looked around, _Anakin would tell him what to do, where was he?_

But he was alone. He could feel her getting colder. He brought her small body to his warm chest, desperate to share his heat. Then he realized. _He was only supposed to have enough energy to do one thing, then die._

He sat up straight, taking the deepest breaths he could manage, one hand on Rey’s tiny waist, _this is where she had put her hand to heal him, where Anakin had done it too._

 _  
_ He cradled her neck in his hand as her lifeless eyes stared at the sky. _Was this even possible? To bring back the dead?_

What little he had he was giving to her. Like sharing a breath underwater, leaving none for himself to get back to the surface. He hoped it was enough.

He felt an icy hand on his.

He opened his eyes. Rey was sitting up, looking at him in surprise. She didn’t need his hand behind her neck anymore, but he couldn’t bare to move it. These were his last few seconds, he could feel it.

He didn’t hide his wet eyes. She was only just realizing that she had died and he had brought her back. _Did she know how much he loved her? For saving him and bringing him back to himself?_ He glanced at her lips.

“Ben,” she whispered, a statement, not a question, her face lighting up.

Her hand touched his cheek as she read his face. It was a different expression than any she’d seen from him as Kylo Ren. Happiness, relief, love. Their faces were close now. She looked down at his mouth.

They met in the middle.

A sudden breath of life, hidden adrenaline sustaining him. Her lips were warm, insistent. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him. She let the kiss linger, forgetting to breathe. He ran his hand over the nape of her neck. They parted, her hand still on his face.

 _Wow, they had just kissed. I guess Anakin was right._ He laughed quietly.

Rey smiled, seeing his laugh lines for the first time, touching the corner of his mouth. Ready to kiss him again.

But he could feel his body betraying him. The energy from healing her leaving him empty, while his heart had never felt fuller. He wished that was enough.

She was looking right into his eyes, worried, gripping his hand. His vision faded to pinpricks of light, like one star in the sky, then to nothing.

He was in the darkness again, but there was no pain. He felt a small hand take his, not Rey’s. It was his mother’s. He couldn’t see her, but he followed her through the dark.

When he came to, he was naked, laying in a tile bowl with a few inches of water. His body was healed. He climbed out, looking around. He could smell the ocean and feel the breeze coming in through several doorways in the rock. It was sunrise.

He looked down at the bowl, it was decorated in the image of the Original Jedi, cross-legged in meditation, half light, half dark. A Jedi temple. Ahch-to.

_He had made it._

He laughed out loud. A strange sound. It echoed off the walls. Now all he had to do was wait.

And find some clothes.

**Just when I felt like giving up**  
**That I shouldn’t try**  
**To save it now**  
**I’m just waiting on a moment for you**  
**To tell me how you feel**  
**Always known for me, it’s you**  
**It’s you**  
**I should’ve known, we’d make it right**  
**I’m coming back this time**  
**To a different life**

For Me, It’s You - Lo Moon


End file.
